I wish that I had known that it would be the last time, because I would have remembered every moment.  I can't recall the last smile, the last laugh, the last time that there was true joy.  I didn't know that I would need to pay attention that closely.  I thought that the laughs would be there in between the sorrow and the pain and when I needed a fresh supply that they would come out and fill up my soul so that I would be ready for whatever came next. 

I wish that I had known that it would be the last time, because I would have remembered every moment.  I can't recall the last time that hands were held, and arms were offered as comfort to one another.  I didn't know that they would cease altogether and that I would need to search the weeks, months, and years to a time when love was spoken without words.  I thought that those gestures of affection would carry on until God chose to bring one of you home. 

I wish that I had known that it would be the last time, because I would have remembered every moment.  I can't recall where we were when we were still a family.  Where did we go, and what did we see...it has disappeared forever.  I would have cherished every moment whether it had been a weekend away or a simple trip to the store.  I would have imprinted every sensory detail into my memory in hopes that it would help to cover the pain that would follow. 

I wish that I had known that it would be the last time, because I would have remembered every moment.  I can't recall the last time we all looked at the mountains together and contemplated the greatness of our God.  It was a gift that we all shared, first the two of you alone and then you gave it to the two of us.  It was born in our hearts and grew as a reminder of the grace that we have been given during each trip we took together.  I can't remember the last vista that we all saw together and it breaks my heart. 

I wish that I had known that it would be the last time, because I would have remembered every moment before forever had conditions and our family was shattered into a million pieces.