In fifth grade my teacher, Ms. Reyes, allowed me and my friend Penny to give up our outside time during a "Friday Fun Frolic" in order to clean out her cabinets.  I am sure that to most of the people reading this blog that trade sounds like more of a punishment than a reward...but I was thrilled.  In our quest to turn chaos into order we were able to bond with our teacher and discover all kinds of hidden classroom treasures.  I love being able to turn chaos into order...

Almost 10 years ago, I started a crazy journey into the world of high school as an English teacher.  Out of all of the careers that I had dared to dream about as a child, teaching was not one of them.  A heart surgeon, fashion merchandiser, princess, and various other endeavors were on my radar at one time or another, but there was no part of me that dreamed about the day when I would be responsible for 175 teenagers as they sought to, usually against their will, expand their interpretation and understanding of literature and expository texts through writing.  Now I can't imagine doing anything else with my life...

I haven't been the perfect educator...in fact, far from it as I look back on the last 10 years.  There were too many times when I was quick to anger, and slow to listen, which is exactly the opposite of who God desires me to be to my students.  I can be, more often that I would care to admit, somewhat of a perfectionist.  I want order at all times...and this demand to turn chaos into order has seldom brought about the desired result.  I wasn't  willing to let go...This year I decided to take a different approach...I decided to take the chaos as it comes...and then everything changed.  There can be learning in the middle of the chaos and many times the lessons in which I let go and see where my students can taking the learning are those that are the most meaningful and those that they will remember long after their time in high school is over. 

Now, I need to take that same lesson and apply it to my life.  The first stage of the adoption process is mainly comprised of chasing paper work, something that works well with my over organized personality.  However, embedded in the paperwork is the need for patience as we wait for God to provide the funds at each step.  After we submit the first batch of paperwork, we need to pay the first installment of the program fee which is $1500.  At this time we have raised $266...and so we wait.  The next bath of paperwork will be released to us after we make the payment.  Shortly after that time, we will need another $2,000 for the home study.  We are not eligible to apply for grants until after the home study is complete.  I have no choice but to trust in God's timing.  I have no choice, but to let go...

I know that God plans that all things to work together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28) and that He will not leave us as orphans (John 14).  When God adopted me as His daughter, He promised to never leave or forsake me...and He makes that same promise to fulfill His plan to bring our son to us according to His perfect timing.  I am grateful that through the times of chaos and times of order I don't have to worry about controlling everything, because my creator had this all planned out before He laid the foundations of the earth.   I am learning to let go...